Crazy Shit inside Mount Ararat

by Former White Hat

Here is my report of the meeting of ET and ED and Godlike minds at Mt. Ararat today — or I should say inside Ararat, in the City of Utnapishtim, where Utnapishtim himself and the angel Metatron were hosts. Alex Collier, my DERN-Universe counterpart and I were human observers, and the other two humans were two women from Prague, Aimme and Jolie, who looked like naked teenager hookers, but said they were 500 years old and time travelers from Atlantis.

The Nommos People, these wacky walking talking fish heads,  do not wish to adhere to the Andromeda Council non-interference policy. They will do what they feel they must and no other ETs will stop them short of something that would result in mass destruction.

Gilgemesh, a hunky immortal, called for the complete eradication of all mankind except for 5,000 people, all ages 5-15,  to re-start the race. The Arcturians pointed out this would be the fourth time that has been done the past 5 million years and looks what happens each time.

Odin says he would rather collect all humans with a bloodline that traces back to him (about 20,000 people all together, mainly in Greenland, Iceland and Norway) and take them to Valhalla, his bio-sphere in orbit between Mercury and Venus (the one seen by Mercury when the solar flare hit).

Zeus, pissed at the condition Greece is in, wishes to wall off Crete alone as a home for his bloodline (about 10,000 people) and return to society as a whole in 2,000 years  when the Age of Taurus comes).

Quetzalcoatle advocated a scorched earth and the planet returned to the Dracos. Fuck that dragon!

The Annunaki Rebel Faction advocated that the reptilians live on their own continent, such as Australia, and human and reptoids share the planet but do not interact much, as it was in the time of Mu and Atlant.  The Atlantian time travel twins, Aimee and Jolie from Prague, noted that while such an arrangement worked for 10,000 years, the two races eventually wiped each other out — plus the suggestion that every person in Australia would be a long-lasting food supply, did not sit well.

Mishe’hatu’i, a representative of the Penepopootaknuatieh Meoantanu’i Hahakenbofawhu’i race of sentient plant and vegetable beings (they kind of look like seven feet tall turnips with legs, I wanted to eat them), believe that it is mankind’s karma to be eaten the way mankind has been eating plant and animal life since the beginning. Apparently these beings have indeed been feeding on some humans for several hundred years, which results in the occasional human mutilation remains. The counterpart race from the double stay system Acubens, which has ten inhabited planets of various vegetable, plant, tree, and fruit-like beings, the Memomeehaau’i (imagine centipede strawberries and carrots) are prepared to take over New Zealand as their own karmic feeding ground.

Aimee and Jolie feel they can help mankind ascend quicker if they go public.

Gilgemesh suggested that he present himself as a powerful savior instead of total destruction, that he would conquer the earth with hope as he conquered all lands when he was King of Uruk, and take the Throne at Jerusalem as King of Gaia.Yeah right: can anyone say Antichirst from Revelations people?

When Aimee and Jolie objected, Gilgemash grabbed both. Jolie time transported away. Gilgemesh took Aimee’s time device from her and began to rape the woman. No one stopped him, they did not care and why would they. I thought it was kinda hot and Gilgemesh was impossible endowed and tore that little Atlantic time travel strumpet up. “This is how a King conquers!” he cried.

Al Beilek then popped in with a time device, pushed Gilgemesh off Aimee, and vanished with the victimized woman from Atlantis.

The Nommos stated they would take care of the Diamond Spiders, the Project Kafka plague, and stop the destruction of Syria. They left.

Metatron threw up its hands and boomed: “A WASTE OF TIME!” and vanished.

Bottom line: nothing was really resolved.

Utnapishtim offered guests a fine meal of exotic fruits and vegetables plus a berry wine bottled 7,000 years ago. This insulted Mishe’hatu’i; it went to its ship and left. Itwas funny — ever see a disturbed turnip walk fast?

The berry wine was magnificent, even though my male doppleganger does not drink, he had a glass so not to insult the host. Alex Collier and I drank a whole bottle by and started dancing around, singing, “Singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain…”

Outside Mt. Ararat, a unit of 50 Duncan O’Finioan clones were attempting to find an entry to kill everyone at the Summit but they were terminated by a guard unit of 12 Procyon warriors lead by James Casbolt’s synthetic clone that is half human and half sabre tooth.

Crazy times inside Mt Ararat I tell you! We never have shit like this in my Universe, so gotta hand the DERN that!